It's Not Always About You
source: therightmessages.com
Assalaamu'alaikum warahmatullah.
Sebelumnya mau berbagi tulisan kakak kelas ketika SMA dulu. Cukup panjang tapi very well said.
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Long read ---
DON'T TAKE THINGS PERSONALLY. Just don't. For you are not the centre of the universe. Neither am I. Neither any of us. So, don't. Maybe just before reading this, you've just read another article telling you 'Take things personally' or 'You ARE the centre of the universe'. And of course they're giving you the valid-and-make-the-most-sense argument but I'm here to tell you 'No'. And for the record, I'm not here to counter those views but more to give you another perspective, another point of view. It's not about what's right and what's wrong but more about when to see from one perspective and when to see from the other side of the river. It's not about being an opportunist but more about being an empath. An empath to others... and most of all... an empath to yourself.
At this stage of our life (taking that I'm almost 35 y/o), I'm sure most of us started seeing how things have changed so much compare to how it was a couple of years back. How life is not as fun as it was (for those who still have this view, keep walking. You deserve it! Enjoy it! 
). How meeting old friends is not as easy as it was and you start questioning 'Why is it so hard for them to meet up with me?', 'They don't want to spare not even a minute to meet up with me?', 'For those who call themselves 'best friends' and they don't even want to spare some minutes to meet up.', 'I've been so flexible on time and place yet they still can't make it to meet up? Pffttt....' and the most dangerous one: 'I'm going through a rough time. I told them and yet they still don't want to see me. How fucked up can it be?'
Now listen to me, dear good friends... That... is when we have to understand... that you are not the centre of the universe. No, please don't get me wrong, I empathize you and I understand that you're going some rough time and I know how difficult it must be for you and I'm so sorry for you. Truly. And I mean it. But have you ever tried to cross the river and see it from their shoes? At this time of my life, I learned that every each of us is going through some tough times. every each of us has our own stories. And how EVERY EACH OF US LONGING TO HAVE THAT BEAUTIFUL GREAT MAGNIFICENT TIME WITH BEST FRIENDS!!! But life has different things for us served on our plate. One friend is struggling with their career and they're the backbone of the family. Another friend is fighting to build a family they've been dreaming of. Another friend is completely scared of how to provide the best life for their kids. While some others have to face the fact that their parents are no longer young, they got sick, and even worse, they're preparing themselves for the worst possibility... of losing their beloved parents.
You see, each one of them are facing some real shit, just as much as and as tough as your shit. Don't say that broken-heart is not real shit. It is! Don't say that insecurity is not real shit. It is! EVERY EACH ONE OF US has our own story to tell (or to keep) and EVERY EACH ONE OF US has the battle to win (oh yes, let me tell you, YOU WILL WIN THE BATTLE, NO MATTER HOW!). So don't feel bad whenever you feel like you're alone. Because YOU ARE NOT! Once again, it is not always about you.
). How meeting old friends is not as easy as it was and you start questioning 'Why is it so hard for them to meet up with me?', 'They don't want to spare not even a minute to meet up with me?', 'For those who call themselves 'best friends' and they don't even want to spare some minutes to meet up.', 'I've been so flexible on time and place yet they still can't make it to meet up? Pffttt....' and the most dangerous one: 'I'm going through a rough time. I told them and yet they still don't want to see me. How fucked up can it be?'Now listen to me, dear good friends... That... is when we have to understand... that you are not the centre of the universe. No, please don't get me wrong, I empathize you and I understand that you're going some rough time and I know how difficult it must be for you and I'm so sorry for you. Truly. And I mean it. But have you ever tried to cross the river and see it from their shoes? At this time of my life, I learned that every each of us is going through some tough times. every each of us has our own stories. And how EVERY EACH OF US LONGING TO HAVE THAT BEAUTIFUL GREAT MAGNIFICENT TIME WITH BEST FRIENDS!!! But life has different things for us served on our plate. One friend is struggling with their career and they're the backbone of the family. Another friend is fighting to build a family they've been dreaming of. Another friend is completely scared of how to provide the best life for their kids. While some others have to face the fact that their parents are no longer young, they got sick, and even worse, they're preparing themselves for the worst possibility... of losing their beloved parents.
You see, each one of them are facing some real shit, just as much as and as tough as your shit. Don't say that broken-heart is not real shit. It is! Don't say that insecurity is not real shit. It is! EVERY EACH ONE OF US has our own story to tell (or to keep) and EVERY EACH ONE OF US has the battle to win (oh yes, let me tell you, YOU WILL WIN THE BATTLE, NO MATTER HOW!). So don't feel bad whenever you feel like you're alone. Because YOU ARE NOT! Once again, it is not always about you.
Reach out. And when you feel like you've reached out and still don't get the help you need, seek for another way (without taking it as a failure!) Pray... For prayers never fail. Pray is the way to talk to God (or some would call it 'the universe'). Meditate... Take a few moments to stay still in silence. Listen... Meditate is the way to listen to the universe. Seek for professional help if needed. IT IS NOT TABOO to seek for professional help. It doesn't make you less human. Pour it out. Don't stay in your head for too long. Running wild in your own head wouldn't do any good to yourself. When you're going through some rough time, the least you want to do is for you to do more damage to yourself! Be kind to yourself. Treat yourself. Go out from your own thought. Take a break. Like a real break. YOU DESERVE TO BE HAPPY! DON'T LET OTHERS TELL YOU OTHERWISE, ESPECIALLY YOURSELF! You so deserve it! Switch your perspective. Go to the other end to see how wonderful the life you're leading actually. Fear and insecurity are very normal! Don't feel bad about it. Accept them. And learn to work with them. Instead of falling deeper and deeper in it, learn to see opportunity, possibility. How to utilize them into something more beautiful, more productive. And also.... when you feel like you're helpless... help others. Encourage. Empower. For positivity is contagious. And that's what you can do to help others.... and yourself at the same time.
You ARE all precious, my valuable friends... And thank you for all the beauty you share with me, past, present and future. Love... and light. xx
-Harry Kawanda-
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wah. panjang ya tulisannya. mudah-mudahan bisa dipahami dan dimengerti.
Kadang kita merasa paling merana sedunia, merasa sendirian gak ada yang mau ngerti, kalau sedang sedih atau tertimpa masalah. Padahal orang lain pun mungkin saja sedang berjuang dengan "hidupnya" juga.
Tulisan ini semacam jadi pengingat bahwa kita harus berusaha memahami kondisi orang lain, tidak asal langsung ngejudge, terus nyari justifikasi buat diri sendiri.
wah. panjang ya tulisannya. mudah-mudahan bisa dipahami dan dimengerti.
Kadang kita merasa paling merana sedunia, merasa sendirian gak ada yang mau ngerti, kalau sedang sedih atau tertimpa masalah. Padahal orang lain pun mungkin saja sedang berjuang dengan "hidupnya" juga.
Tulisan ini semacam jadi pengingat bahwa kita harus berusaha memahami kondisi orang lain, tidak asal langsung ngejudge, terus nyari justifikasi buat diri sendiri.
وَإِلَىٰ رَبِّكَ فَارْغَبْ
Dan hanya kepada Tuhanmulah hendaknya kamu berharap.
- QS. Al-Insyirah : 8 -
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